Thursday, June 3, 2010

An unfulfilled passion......

"A manifestation of the divine" often would reiterate the mother of a five year old Riya while looking into her child's deep hazel eyes. Indeed,Riya's eyes were heavenly, so soulful. Those bushy yet arched eyebrows & dense black eye-lashes just added to the etherealness of her starry eyes.
As & when Riya grew up, she turned more tantalizing than ever. A glinting rotund face with rosy cheeks & subtle dimples engraved on them. Gradually, she attained her nubile age & she would love to adorn herself. Her mother with great zest would embellish her daughter with the finest jewelery & would drape her in a white chiffon saree, perfectly accentuating Riya's curves.
Bejeweled Riya, standing in front of the mirror would ask, "MA, how do I look?"
"Perfect Honey! You look like a princess."
Riya standing gracefully like a demure,reticent damsel would again ask "Ma,will anyone ever marry me?"
"Why not honey? You are such a beautiful soul!" pat would come her mother's reply.
On hearing this, Riya would simper & thrust her face against her mother's bosom in order to hide her blushing face.
Riya's mother had put up an advertisement for a paying guest & very soon a man in his late twenties called Nikhil , moved into the upper-storey of their building as their new tenant.
On a fine morning,when he was whiling around in his balcony ,he saw Riya sitting on a cane chair in the courtyard. His eyes got fixed upon Riya's countenance for never in his life had he seen a prettier creation of God than her. He went downstairs to have a closer glimpse of that rare beauty.Tiptoeing, he proceeded towards the cane chair & stood for a minute or two savoring the fragrance of Riya's loosely knotted hair. Riya had fallen asleep by then. A whiff of wind went past her face ,her waist-long hair got undone & fell like a cascade . Her tresses lay across her face & Riya was sleeping like an innocuous child who knows nothing about the world.
Suddenly, Nikhil felt himself overpowered by a passion , a passion to protect & love that girl forever. He was lost in his imagination when Riya gently opened her eyes. Nikhil was startled to see those shimmering hazel eyes & he quickly moved away his sight from her.
Riya, pulled out a small white stick from beneath the cane chair,stretched it to make it longer & walked her way, tapping the stick on the ground with every step of hers.
Nikhil thought "What beautiful eyes but so useless. I wish she were not blind!" & heaved a sigh of disappointment.


  1. Is the story over?? Or to be continued?

    You have a very good writing style. :)

    A small suggestion: Try using simpler words when you are writing a short story or something light, because I feel average readers won't understand them[the words].

    Great work, keep it up. :)

  2. Thanks Satwinder! :) Point taken!:)

  3. well interesting indeed
    i found the ending comically tragic
    well its a personal opinion as the gal sounded like a beauty without brain.:P
    and yeah as satwinder said don't use excessive strong words
    as Einstein once said "you cant make simple things simpler"

  4. twas a nice story...I liked the second paragraph since it was free flowing and not loaded with "big" words..Not that i have anything against the use of elaborate words but the reader should not feel as if the words have been stuffed in..they should flow with the language..Keep up the good work :)

  5. Thanks @SOULBLOGGER & @Shikhar

    Yeah, shall try not to use difficult words.
    @SOULBLOGGER :- Well, I couldn't agree with you more regarding the ending! I personally don't feel connected to the story! Shall try to give my heart & soul to the upcoming ones! Thanks for stopping by!:):)

  6. nice story but as my fellow puys haav already mentioned abt connecting urself to the story is quite all i liked ur style of writing while readin i felt i was reading a novel nd wishin the story to go on for a longer time :)

  7. Thanks Prateek!:):) Thanks a lot for stopping by! Shall keep in mind your suggestions when I write my next blog feed! :):)

  8. Good one yet again!! Really liked the unusual yet strangely familiar ending.. Strange since never expected it to end it in this way.. Familiar since it reflects a glimpse of the 'practical' world we live in..

    Good job :)

  9. A lovely comment Bhaiya! :):)

    Thanks! :):)