Going against Gender Stereotypes

Note:- This is again one of the tag posts that I am doing. I loved the theme, so decided to scribble something.

I am so unlike the dime a dozen damsels.

--> There was a time (I guess , I was 16 -17 then) when everyone in my family used to say :-

"She is a guy embodied in a female anatomy." :D

--> I learnt to ride my Papa's "tardy" scooter at the tender (yet impish) age of 12 :-P . I scraped my knees., encountered a few "not so serious" accidents , but finally learnt to ride it . I used to flaunt this feat of mine in front of the bully guys of my colony & often invited them to ride a pillion on my bike :-P

As a result of this, 5-6 boys had even girded up their loins to hone their "biking skills" . :-D

--> I am not so concerned about my looks. My hair usually stays in a disheveled condition & I detest undoing the tangles. Cosmetics, nail-polishes ....eew....they are a big NO-NO for me! I love my tanned complexion . :-P

I am not a shopaholic . My fashion statement :- A decent dress (a salwar-kameez preferably , I hate flashy colors ) , a wrist-watch(I have a fetish for wrist watches) & a good hair-do. Thats it!

I hate those big chunks of jewelry , especially those tacky ear-loops (I call them "jhumkas"):D

--> I've never fancied for all the good-looking heros that the girls usually go bananas over . I hate overtly good-looking, dumb-head guys. My definition of "handsome" is different. (Lets not get into that)

--> I am brash , my demeanor is not that feminine. I walk brusquely. I lack a gentle gait .

--> I laugh my heart out. That full on devilish "HAHAHAHAHA" :-D

--> I've a pretty good sense of humor (If it's wrong, then pelt stones at my friends) :-D

(Girls are infamous for having a poor sense of humor. How many girls do you know who actually have a good sense of humor , huh? )

--> As a matter of fact, I have never read "Mills & Boon" (touted as the "Baap of romance":-P) etcetera (although, I am fairly romantic:-P)

--> I get audacious , at times. I had even slapped a guy at school . I have had bad (real bad) arguments with my classmates & I believe in taking a stance .

--> I am upfront, short-tempered & I don't keep my feelings in confinement.

That's it! Apart from these, I've all the girlish traits as in :-

1. I love chick flicks .

2. I am a die-hard romantic & an INSANE lover.

3.I love to cook food & I like smelling good (I have a fetish for perfumes too)

4. I don't crack X-rated jokes .

5.I am a crybaby .

6. & I am a bit shy too. :)

P.S. :- I won't tag anyone . Whoever, wills to write a post, can do it with elan.

See ya in my next! :)

My heart will go on....

I set my "racing heart" free & all that you'll read,has been penned down by an unrestrained heart.

I have let "your love" devour me & you know, it's one of the nicest,one of the truest, one of the divinest feelings, I have ever experienced. You have rekindled a spark of perpetual happiness in me. I find you walking right next to me. I feel your presence everywhere . You are in my prayers , in everything that you can think of! :)

I smile sheepishly all day long because your silly words keep buzzing in my ears. You know, I love doodling your name on the last page of my diary.

You have resuscitated me, my dear! Doesn't that sum it all up? Writing is such an otiose job!Let me put it aside & permit me to be short & succinct.

"I am incomplete without you."

Pulp-'o'-Pa(u)l----> The Nostradamus of 2010 ????

So, what's the latest fever the world is gripped in?

FIFA?

Well,that's passe . Its an 8-armed psychic Octopus Pulp-o-Paul or Pulpo-Paal (our very own Desi version) that has the world under it's tentacles!

A zero legged , spinal cord lacking animal that apparently looks way smarter than us bipeds.An invertebrate that not even in it's wildest fantasies would have thought that it would create such a stir among zoologists,scientists,paranormal researchers & what not, from every nook & corner in the world!

A new baffling hypothesis trying to answer Paul's so called "CLAIRVOYANCE" is proposed each day & there is a large section of the world that does believe in it's "chamatkari" powers! Some Indians have even venerated it as "PAAL BABA"

Phew! Hullabaloo of an enormous degree all around!

WHAT A PITY!

AN ANIMAL WITH 8-ARMS (& ZERO LEGS) IS PREDICTING A GAME WHERE THERE'S NO USE OF ARMS!

Jai ho Paal baba ki!!!!

7 things you don't know about me

Finally, you get a chance to delve deeper into this "CONUNDRUM" called Prerna! :):)

1. "A BLABBER"- I am not a glib speaker but a rambler who is too explicit. "I love calling a spade,a spade."

However, I prefer being reticent or diplomatic (at the most) when I am asked to comment on some sensitive issues. :)

2. "RESTLESS & FIDGETY" :- "Dear God, give me PATIENCE & give it to me right NOW!"

Hope, the one-liner sums it all up!:P

3. "WAY TOO MUCH OF A PERFECTIONIST" :- I am too particular about the things I am involved in. I keep ironing my clothes until all the wrinkles (even the minutest ones) disappear . "A CLEANING FREAK" I am. At times, my mom even feels that I have "OBSESSIVE-COMPULSIVE DISORDER" :D

I start whining if I see things not happening the way I want them to happen.

I am too particular about my "punctuation marks" , "Grammar" etc. A minor grammatical error is enough to agitate me!:P

4. "TOO LOYAL A FRIEND" :- Utter some non-sense about my friends & you shall breathe your last!:D

STATUTORY WARNING:- "Don't ever try this when I am around."

5. " A KAJOL ZEALOT " :- I am a walking Kajol encyclopedia. "BEKHUDI" to "My name is Khan" , I have slurped it all! :D "MAVERICK FAN" !

6. "EFFERVESCENT & A HEDONIST" :- "Dull" ,"Mundane","Lugubrious" etc are the words that seldom appear in my dictionary.

I love my ever-green smiley :):). Come what may, but my smile never ceases!

I have no qualms in accepting the fact that I am a pathetic humorist & an even worse satirist. As I have said earlier,I love being straight forward. Sarcasm isn't my cup of tea & I hate it!

7. "AN UNBEATABLE DAY DREAMER, A 24*7 SINGER & AN AVID ANIMAL LOVER" :- I have a long wishlist that gets renewed almost everyday.

I want to learn Salsa someday, want to be a painter (preferably after the age of 40). I wish to adopt a baby girl when I am 25 (irrespective of my marital status).

I wish to live independently throughout my life with my head held high up in the air.

This is ME & I LOVE BEING ME! :):)

P.S. :- I had been tagged by Aditya to write this post. I thank him for passing the baton to me. "7 THINGS YOU DON'T KNOW ABOUT ME!" is an attempt to know each other this way. I shall now pass the baton to :-

1. Soul Blogger

2.Rajiv Bhaiya

Physiognomy. Part-1 "THE EYES"

I have had immense interest in the Paranormal. Physiognomy or the science of reading faces is one of it's integral parts.

Here, I have decided to start a series titled under "PHYSIOGNOMY",wherein I would talk about a specific facial feature , it's varied shapes,sizes etc & what it symbolizes.

So, I set the ball rolling with the most "catchy" feature of the face..... "THE EYES!"

"EYES NEVER LIE" goes the old aphorism. True that! Your eyes reflect your character in it's true sense.

Eye & it's color.

1. Deep black eyes:- Such eyes are often said to be "SMOLDERING".The traits that I commonly associate with deep black eyed people are :-

A.He/she should be a Passionate Lover :- (Whatsoever,be the love interest--->family,career,spouse,partner,offspring et al) . He/she is expected to do everything passionately,they can give their eye & tooth to achieve what they will.

B. Angry & restless :- They can be ferocious , brutal if in case they ever face a betrayal. They believe in vengeance.

2.Hazel eyes :-

A. Warm,easy going & affable.

B. may be simpletons, too much gullible & guileless.

C. have less consistency.

3. Brown eyes :-

A. "Fidelity" is their biggest trait .

B. can be great friends & good life-partners.

C. are Prudent!

4. Green eyes :-

A. are Cunning

B. are quite innovative.

C. trustworthy but to a little extent.

5. Grey eyes :-

A. Intelligent & sagacious .

B. can't be ardent lovers

C. high on their coolness quotient! :D

Always remember, dark colors of the eyes signify PASSION,STRENGTH & ALACRITY OF THE MIND, ENVIOUSNESS !

While light colors usually symbolize :- A PASSION SUBDUED, AFFABILITY & LESS CONSISTENCY .

P.S.:- All these are my generalizations based on my past experiences & observations. I have been a keen observer ever since I developed interest in the paranormal (I might have been 14-15 then) .I do not intend to thrust these deductions of mine on my readers. Exceptions are quite possible , these are mere generalizations.

P.S.S :- People who have no interest in the subject & believe Parapsychology contradicts the theories of Science are earnestly requested to refrain themselves from commenting . :):) This is MY belief & my conviction towards the subject has led me start this series! :):) Hope you understand.

The Man in my life......

Who else other than YOU,

had acted as an usher to me

when I was ensnared by the abyss?

Who else other than YOU,

had sung me a lullaby

when I was spending sleepless nights?

-----------------------

Who else other than YOU,

has bore my tantrums

with a smiling face?

Who else other than YOU,

has motivated me even when

I finished last in a race?

------------------------

Who else other than YOU

has comforted my falling tears?

Who else other than YOU

has taught me to differentiate between foes & peers?

-------------------------

Who else other than YOU

did I hold tight while undergoing

minor stitches on my fore-head?

Who else other than YOU

had taught me the subjects

that I used to dread?

-----------------------

Who else other than YOU

has appreciated my drawings

that were sheer grotesques?

Who else other than YOU

has told me the stories of

Dracula,vampires,dragons & drakes?

--------------------------

Who else other than YOU

feels proud on my winning at college?

Who else other than YOU

can pacify my simmering rage?

----------------------------

Who else other than YOU

has dared to eat my chapatis-

polygonal & half-baked?

Who else other than YOU

caught me when I

lied & faked?

---------------------------

The answer to these questions is "NO-ONE BUT YOU!"

LOVE YOU BABA,

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY! :):)

How to combat "STRESS"? 10 effective ways!

1."Never strive to attain the unattainable."

- The practice endows nothing but "STRESS" which further bogs down your efficiency!

2."Never say YES to alcohol."

-"Alcohol is one of the most effective stress busters."

BULLSHIT!

Alcohol serves no purpose.It aggravates your "stress" nonetheless. "HEALTH HAZARDS" are other freebies that alcohol often brings with it!

3."Unnecessary competition.........EVADE,EVADE,EVADE!"

-This is one of the precursors of stress. The temperament "Oh Gosh, he/she has it, I too need to have it" shall lead you nowhere.

4."Try appreciating others as much as you can."

- A heart-felt appreciation is a genuine thing. I am NOT encouraging sycophancy. Flattery ----> a BIG NO-NO! Be genuinely appreciative.If you feel someone has done a commendable job,then go forth & pat his back :)

5. "Nothing kills stress better than a cat purring on your lap or a dog wagging it's tail & licking your face"

- If you aren't zoophobic,then try snuggling a kitten or a pup.........Cuts stress effectively!

6."Try confiding in someone."

-Share your angst with someone who you rely on.It might be a piece of paper too. Scribble your exasperation & tear it asunder , it will surely help you feel good since it's a cathartic practice.

If you have a confidante in your life, then nothing can be better than that.

7."Music or a book or a movie of your choice"

-It would just be hackneyed if I start listing down the positive effects of Music. Avoid listening to a cacophonous number. A soft rhapsody with meaningful lyrics should be preferred.

8."Never pay heed to criticisms meant to intimidate you."

-People who criticize in order to dampen your spirit are BIG TIME LOSERS themselves. Michael Flatley had once rightly said :- " Whenever I hear, "It can't be done," I know I'm close to success."

9."Try meditating."

- Simple breath regulating exercises like Pranayam serve the purpose. Here,I would suggest you all a simple exercise that will take 2-3 minutes.

1. Sit on the ground or on a chair & keep your spine straight.

2. Breathe in & fill your lungs with air, so that your chest expands & your stomach contracts.

3. Hold your breath for a second or two.

4. Now exhale & utter "AUM". Be soft & audible. "Aaaauuuuuuummmmmm" . The exhaled air carries out with it all your anxieties, your worries & your qualms.

10. " Sleep/ gorge on your favorite dessert."

Finally,I would say "Life is bland without worries." Had life been plain & smooth, the spirit to live it would have died. "A status-quo life is the least desirable one" in fact, it's worthless!

"Stress" is just a transient thing,face it with a smiling face,never let it overpower you & that's the MANTRA of eternal happiness.

My Shangri-La

I had always detested my room....for it is a dungeon,a dimly lit architecture surrounded by four walls & a roof atop.....that was all that made the structure qualify as a "ROOM"! It stands in the farthest corner of the house,adjacent to my balcony.

No A.C, no cooler, just a simple fan rotating overhead & making a "GRR-GRR" sound. The room gets heated up like a brick kiln during the sweltering summers & becomes the Arctic pole during the harsh arid winters! The walls are damp & hence the paint falls off as flakes & lies scattered all over the floor.I broom & dust it all off at-least thrice a day....."PHEW!!!!!"

I've a wooden table & a gigantic cupboard where all my books & other paraphernalia are dumped. I spend half the day clearing away the clutter & the very next day,the clutter magically re-appears!:-|

The colossal bed occupies most of the space in my small room & therefore,there ain't any area(not even the minutest) to make any more additions.

The only thing that I like about my room is it's WINDOW. A ridiculously over sized window that helps me view the world. However, the window for the most part of the day remains tightly shut & the curtains are drawn over. It's only in the evenings when I open the window with full throttle & the pneumatic hinge makes a squeaky,irritating sound....."churrrrrrrrr" .

I've always loved the window view , that shows a dreary,old lane running amidst the houses & I always watch it for as long as I can.

My parents have asked me a myriad times to shift in a bigger & a better room but I always decline their alluring offer saying "There are so many things that need to be shifted! It will take a long time & I do not have the patience ,so Ma,Papa let it be!"

Besides the window, I loved nothing about my room,until yesterday,when after a tiring day at college,I came back home, dragged my feet to my room & ensconced on the bed.The scorching sun had drained out all my energy & I had succumbed to weariness. As soon as I closed my eyes,I found myself floating on the clouds of slumber. I slept like a baby for around 2-3 hours ,then woke up.....refreshed & rejuvenated.

I changed my clothes,splashed my face with water & felt recharged. I entered my room with gratitude in my heart.

I had never missed a single opportunity to curse my room but yesterday,I realized it's importance in my life. I thought about the people who don't have roofs overhead,stay bare or in tatters & live a crippled life on streets like stray animals.....people who consider themselves fortunate to have found a single morsel of food to combat their groaning hunger..... kids who gambol with fervor if they find a dried loaf of bread to appease their Hunger pangs ........ "DEPLORABLE,isn't it?"

I felt my eyes moist & thanked God for all the prerogatives that he had bestowed on me! My perception about my room has completely changed. It's indeed my world,my Utopia where there's no filth, no ostentation but just a ray of positivity that lingers throughout. :)

Vanity Bag (Part-2)

The next morning when Sana woke up, she brusquely grasped her phone & made Siddhartha a call.

Before she could utter anything, Siddhartha started "I am coming to your place in an hour.I gotta talk to you!"

Siddhartha entered her apartment. Sana was still simmering with rage & asked him "So,how was your last night?"

He frowned & bluntly replied "How does it matter to you?"

Sana shot "Didn't you enjoy sleeping with your bit** wife?"

He scowled & slapped Sana. She looked at him with her fiery,red eyes,smothered with tears & she yapped "How dare you?! I shall drag you to the court,you lying -two timing son of a bit**!"

Siddhartha gave a wry smile & continued "Do whatever you want to.I just have to say STOP! Building castles in the air.I've dated many wannabes like you but I am committed to my family! Don't you dare forget the fact that YOU are just a MISTRESS of mine. Do you know what a mistress means? The society will look down upon you, it will spit on you! You won't do anybody any wrong by dragging me to the court but YOURSELF!" saying these ,he slammed the door of her apartment & went away.

Thwarted Sana, on hearing the word "MISTRESS" felt as if she has been torn asunder. Her big lavish apartment started appearing like a dungeon to her. She felt claustrophobic. She darted towards her bedroom,bolted herself in & ripped off her radial artery with a honed razor.Thick red blood gushed out of that deep excoriation & made little pools on the ground. She moaned & felt a sense of relief.Her sight was weakening & she lost her balance. All her energy had drained out & with all her might she gazed at a photo-frame bearing Siddhartha's picture. She could no longer hold her eyelids at an open position & lay on her bed like an inanimate object.

The next day, the headlines read" Sana Sayeed commits suicide under strange circumstances."

A small article somewhere in the corner read "Vanity has an awful end!"

Vanity Bag (Part-1)

"'Wajood' embarks on a record-breaking start!Sana Sayeed yet again proves her prowess as the leading actress of the Indian celluloid."

read the headlines of all the Page threes.Phone calls,e-mails,gifts,wishes from admirers from every nook & corner in the world kept pouring in for Sana incessantly. Undoubtedly, she was the "QUEEN" of the silver screen. "Wajood" was yet another feather in her hat- a laurel that hardly made any difference to her.

Media avidly hankered for her interviews. Columns featuring her were boisterously published everywhere. She was now a household name.

Sana was fed up of this cult-status. In fact, she detested her ever-growing fame,she abhorred the paparazzi & made every attempt to prevent her private life from being sneak-peaked.

But as they say, "Popularity has it's own set of pratfalls",she,being the nation's heartthrob could no longer help herself from the media speculations. She was allegedly having an affair with Siddhartha Vrajesh -the famous & a much married industrialist!

It was true that Sana had a lonely life. She was abandoned by her family for her "liberal ways". Being a part of a conservative Muslim clan,Sana's ambitions were strongly opposed by her family. At the age of 19, she left her house & ventured to change her dreams of being a TOP-ACTRESS into reality. She set her foot in Mumbai & being a novice,she had faced many a set-backs but none could deter her spirit. Slowly & steadily,she grasped the attention of all the big-banners. Her unusual cinematic presence & her spontaneity earned her some note-worthy scripts. Producers confidently invested in her rare melancholic look & as they say the rest is History.

She kept ascending & now she was a "HIGH-PROFILE" celebrity charging a whopping seven digit figure for each project.

Sana would never let people intrude in her personal life. As soon as the director would clamor "PACK-UP",Sana would at once take long strides to her Vanity Van, shut the door,draw the curtains & sequester herself form the mad-bad ,avaricious world.She would undo her make-up,throw away her jewelry recklessly & thump in her chair. Anxiously, she would look for her cell-phone & make her much-needed call.

"Hello!" said a joyous Sana.

"Hi!Honey,how was your day?" replied the man on the other side of the phone.

"Tiring,I am sick of all this honey! All I need is YOU! When are we meeting?"

"In a day or two, honey.I am a bit busy with my clients.As you know business knows nothing except PROFIT!" answered a languid Siddhartha Vrajesh.

"I know Sid, you are busy with your business,your wife & family. But,you love me,don't you? It's been long since we had last met. I need YOU dear,I really need you"

"Hey,Sana! I've got some urgent work.I shall call you up in the evening" & with these words Siddhartha hung up.

Sana could feel a lump in her throat.This was not the first time when Siddhartha had hung up the phone in the middle of a conversation. She rubbed off her tears & went to her apartment. She stayed in a lavish apartment in one of the poshest areas of Mumbai.All through these years,she had started to dread "LONELINESS".It was dusk & Sana waited for Siddhartha's call with baited breath.But,he didn't turn up. She waited till midnight & then decided to give him a call.

"Hey,there! I was waiting for your call but you didn't make any.So,I decided to give you one! I hope it's alright with you?!"

"Of-course,it's NOT!" whispered an angry Siddhartha. "I've asked you many a times not to call at this time of the night.How many times do you want me to repeat the same thing God-damn-it!"

"I am really sorry Sid but since I desperately wanted to have a word with you,I called you up." Saying these, Sana twitched her quivering lips & she broke down into tears.

"Listen Sana,for God's sake don't cry.Sleep now,we shall talk in the morning" said a strident voice of Siddhartha & he hung up.

Sana gawked at the phone for a while & threw it away.She lividly hurled the glass vase which shattered into pieces. She desperately opened her cupboard, ransacked the clutter to find her hypodermic syringe & a small bottle. She filled up the syringe with the liquid content in the bottle & punctured it into her fore-arm. Within moments,Sana was calm,as calm as a night after a raging storm is.She lay on the floor in a supine position......sedated & still.....

A Contemplation

"A CYNIC IS A MAN WHO KNOWS THE PRICE OF EVERYTHING BUT THE VALUE OF NOTHING" - Oscar Wilde

I couldn't agree with him more on this. A cynic is an automaton- a "living calculating machine".

There is a very fine line that demarcates "PRICE" and "Value". Their literal meaning is more or less the same but they are perceived differently.

"Price":- On hearing this, the first word that strikes me is "Materialism" . A material is always estimated by it's Price.

"Value" on the other hand, has an "emotional" touch to it .

As far as I am concerned, I place "Emotion" on a much higher pedestal (in fact the highest) than anything "Materialistic".

A Cynic often turns apathetic to emotions for he tries to find out a reason behind everything. Here, I must clarify that I am NOT against "Reasoning & Radical thinking". To be able to reason with a logic is one of those unique attributes that sets an individual a class apart.

A Cynic finds "faults" in everything. "FAULT-FINDING" should never be misinterpreted as a "Good analysis" . While the latter, encompasses both the positives & the negatives & it clearly mentions a scope for improvement, the former is only about the negatives & it deters the spirit to improve.

A Cynic has a ruffled state of mind. He doesn't understand the "JOY" in loving something,the joy in sharing,the joy in letting one self feel free . He just remains fettered to his ramshackle thoughts & never wants to come out of his shell. He is reluctant to "Newness".

I've a simple message for all the cynics in the world :- "Set your minds free & you'll see how beautiful the world is! It's not as bad as you think. "THINKING" matters..... I dwell in the same world & I find it different , far different from your perceptions."

An unfulfilled passion......

"A manifestation of the divine" often would reiterate the mother of a five year old Riya while looking into her child's deep hazel eyes. Indeed,Riya's eyes were heavenly, so soulful. Those bushy yet arched eyebrows & dense black eye-lashes just added to the etherealness of her starry eyes.

As & when Riya grew up, she turned more tantalizing than ever. A glinting rotund face with rosy cheeks & subtle dimples engraved on them. Gradually, she attained her nubile age & she would love to adorn herself. Her mother with great zest would embellish her daughter with the finest jewelery & would drape her in a white chiffon saree, perfectly accentuating Riya's curves.

Bejeweled Riya, standing in front of the mirror would ask, "MA, how do I look?"

"Perfect Honey! You look like a princess."

Riya standing gracefully like a demure,reticent damsel would again ask "Ma,will anyone ever marry me?"

"Why not honey? You are such a beautiful soul!" pat would come her mother's reply.

On hearing this, Riya would simper & thrust her face against her mother's bosom in order to hide her blushing face.

--------x---------x----------

Riya's mother had put up an advertisement for a paying guest & very soon a man in his late twenties called Nikhil , moved into the upper-storey of their building as their new tenant.

On a fine morning,when he was whiling around in his balcony ,he saw Riya sitting on a cane chair in the courtyard. His eyes got fixed upon Riya's countenance for never in his life had he seen a prettier creation of God than her. He went downstairs to have a closer glimpse of that rare beauty.Tiptoeing, he proceeded towards the cane chair & stood for a minute or two savoring the fragrance of Riya's loosely knotted hair. Riya had fallen asleep by then. A whiff of wind went past her face ,her waist-long hair got undone & fell like a cascade . Her tresses lay across her face & Riya was sleeping like an innocuous child who knows nothing about the world.

Suddenly, Nikhil felt himself overpowered by a passion , a passion to protect & love that girl forever. He was lost in his imagination when Riya gently opened her eyes. Nikhil was startled to see those shimmering hazel eyes & he quickly moved away his sight from her.

Riya, pulled out a small white stick from beneath the cane chair,stretched it to make it longer & walked her way, tapping the stick on the ground with every step of hers.

Nikhil thought "What beautiful eyes but so useless. I wish she were not blind!" & heaved a sigh of disappointment.

The Messenger

Vincent,after having done with his end term exams at college, was all set to visit his Granny's place at Kathgodaam. He boarded the train & had the compartment up to the destined place.The train wasn't too much crowded & almost half of the compartments remained unoccupied.

He alighted on the seat & the train soon pulled out of the station.

He was half asleep when the Ticket checker nudged him.Vincent drawled "Whats it?"

"Ticket please" callously replied the TT. Vincent flaring resentment in his eyebrows, drew the ticket out of his wallet. The TT thoroughly inspected it.

"What an imbecile red-nosed fellow!" thought Vincent.

After handing him over the ticket, the TT left & Vincent relapsed into his seat with a magazine.

Soon, the dusk was overpowered by a dark murky night.It was around midnight when the train again slowed down for a screeching halt. Vincent rubbed sleep off his eyes to check what station that was. He opened the rusty window & peeped out where he could see a dimly-lit board on which it was written "ZAMANIA" . The station boasted a single tea-stall & a few stray dogs. The place showed no signs of passengers. Vincent sat back calmly & then he heard the sturdy footsteps that were becoming louder with each moment. A lean haggard man barged into his compartment. The man was tall in his early fifties ,bearing a pale face & dark smoldering impatient eyes.

The man sat & after sometime,he clenched a cigarette in between his lips & puffed little clouds of smoke. Vincent noticed an eerie equanimity in that man. The train again pulled out & changed it's rhythm.

Vincent spoke for the first time trying to break the ice "Uncle!Where's your journey up to?"

The man smiled & said "Just four stations after,I shall dislodge"

Vincent wandered what the man had been doing so late at night at such an awful place like "Zamania"

The man was peering at Vincent through his silver rimmed specs that made Vincent feel uncomfortable. He again made an attempt to break the smothering uneasiness & said "Uncle! Where's your baggage?"

The man mumbled "I don't have any, my child!"

"Why??" retorted Vincent.

The man sighed "I met an accident my dear. Fortunately,I stayed unhurt but all my luggage got crushed under a lorry.It was God's mercy that I had money to buy myself a ticket to my hometown."

"Oh! Good Lord,you are unhurt!" exclaimed Vincent's concerned voice.

The man again continued "Child,would you please do me a favor?"

Vincent said "What's it Uncle? If I can be of any help,I would try my best"

The man slid his slender hands into the chest pocket of his check shirt & pulled out a folded piece of paper . He unfolded it & said "Child,this is a cheque of 5000 Rs,I want you to give this to FATHER RYAN OF ST.JONES CATHEDRAL"

Vincent intervened "You mean ST.JONES CATHEDRAL AT KATHGODAAM?"

The man said "Exactly,my child!"

Vincent again questioned "But,how did you know that Kathgodaam is my destination?"

The man gave a weary smile "Just a wild guess!"

Vincent tried to hush up his curiosity with a broad grin.

The man continued "Father Ryan runs an orphanage & I want you to hand him over this petty donation on my behalf."

Vincent said "But,why do you want me to do this, even you can , can't you? "

The man sneered at Vincent & regained his calm "Child, I don't have money for Kathgodaam & I have some urgent work that shall keep me on my toes.Please don't let me down"

The man sprang to his feet & sat next to him "You are a good soul.I know, you won't let me down,will you?"

Vincent nodded a "YES" & suddenly the impatience in the man's molten eyes vanished.His pale face glistened. He handed over the cheque to him.

Vincent quizzed "But, whats your name Uncle? "

The man muttered "John Acosta" & fell silent.

Vincent woke up the next morning,he saw the watch & it was 7.He started collecting his things & the train drew closely into the Kathgodaam station.Vincent dislodged the train & suddenly he remembered that cheque & that man. "John Acosta must have dislodged when I was asleep" thought Vincent.

He hired an auto & went to St.Jones Cathedral.He walked across a cemetery, entered the church & came across a white robed man.

Vincent asked "Father Ryan?"

The man said "Yeah ,my son!"

Vincent pulled out the cheque from his wallet & handed it over to him.Father Ryan looked at it intently & asked "Who gave you this my child? "

Vincent replied "This is a donation for your orphanage by a man called John Acosta who gave me this last night & asked me to hand this over to you"

Father Ryan gaped & stuttered "W....WHO? J...JOHN ACOSTA?"

Vincent nodded "Is everything alright Father?"

Father Ryan's trembling voice said "He's DEAD! He died a few months back in a road accident!"

Hearing this, a chill went down Vincent's spine & he shuddered "You mean, I met the dead?"

Father Ryan said "May be son!"

Vincent retorted "But, why did he choose ME?"

Father Ryan held Vincent's cold & numb hands & said " Child! God has a purpose behind everything.You may be a good soul & hence John Acosta's choice for this noble cause. He wanted you to be his MESSENGER"

John Acosta's words "You are a good soul" reverberated in Vincent's ears & a long sepulchral silence engulfed the two of them.

I love.....

1.I love the pleasant smell of the earth when it rains after a dry spell.

2.I love to walk barefoot on the dew kissed grass.

3.I love seeing the sun rising from the horizon & the way it's rays set ablaze the tree tops....

4.I love seeing the sunset & the changing hues of the sky-reddish to purplish.

5.I love the chirping of birds & I love the rustle of the tress.

6. I love the rattle of the river.

7.I love the gentle caress of the breeze.

8.I love playing vinyl records on an old gramophone & intently listen to the rhapsody while sitting & relaxing on a rocking chair.

9.I love lounging around when the clouds thunder.

10. I love listening to "TAVA-SUPRABHATAM" by M.S Subbulakshmi during the wee hours of the morning.

11. I love listening to the peeling of the temple bells.

12.I love listening to the Azaan with rapt attention.

13. I love the tinkling of the anklets,bangles & other such trinkets.

14. I would love to ride a bullock cart through the bucolic pastures someday,intently listening to the jingling of the bells tied around the bullock necks.

15.I love Greenery.

16.I love making random strokes of a paint dipped brush on a parched paper.

17. I love viewing the snow-covered peaks.

18. I love fathoming the unfathomable vastness of the sea, the tumultuous waves that dash against the shores & die down in a jiffy.

19. I love walking along the weary lone roads.

20. I love a child's tender touch.

21.I love flowers

22.I still love running after the butterflies.

23. I love pampering a puppy or a kitten or a lamb.

24. I love smelling the concoctions when mother prepares a new dish in the kitchen.

25.I love a star-studded night with a shining full moon.

26.I love listening to the eloquent silence.....:)

:)

Things that remain unsaid....

J... an itinerant,roving animal who hates to socialize (quite evident from his once in a blue moon appearance on Orkut). He's a hog who just finds an excuse to fulminate me,who without any reluctance would use the worst pejorative terms for me (Orkut would have banned me ,had I mentioned any one of them:P)

[Now,this is gotta be a testimonial,haha:D *a devil smile*]

I met this guy when he was not even able to take care of his dripping nose ,I still remember ,how plaintively he used to cry on being punished. Now, that brat has grown up to be a HANDSOME,PRIVY,PRISTINE GENTLEMAN! He is my BHAI-JAAN. We've grown up together, we were together admonished & even brusied for our petty peccadillos,we stumbled together,we plummetted together & yes, we soared up together!

He is perspicacious,sagacious & a go-getter ....A nonpareil LEADER!

Unlike the rest of the guys of his age who are busy in ensnaring brainless damsels, J.....is mad about his 1 lady.....the lady who makes him breathe ! Great bretheren! :)

Well, HE is one among those few people in this world against who I can't stand a single word. I've this childish chauvinism for him! If I am petulantly whimpering about something, the ONLY person who can mollify me is J....!

I just wish him all the luck & I'll be there with you always (either as a mortal or as a phantom :D)

Love ya!:):)

P.S:- J.... one of my best friends, who often coaxed me to write him a "SUPER-DUPER" TESTIMONIAL on Orkut that could sky rocket his TRP :P, well,jokes apart, he was a sweetheart & certainly deserved to be praised!

Yeah, you spotted that "WAS " in my previous sentence.J....died on 7th January 2009 due to a liver disorder ..... I made a little delay & couldn't post this on time.I was waiting for the right time but then God ,perhaps, never wanted my true emotions to come out of the confinement! I seriously regret not posting this before..... I miss you so much dear! RIP

Mysticism at its best

Here I pen down the lines from a movie called "DELHI-6" that instill "Rumaaniyat" in me:-

"Zarre-zarre mein usi ka noor hain, jhaak khood mein woh na tujhse door hain..

Ishq hain usse toh sabse ishq kar,is ibaadat ka yahi dastoor hain..

Isme-usme aur usme hain wohi,yaar mera har taraf bharpoor hain!"

Whenever, I feel low, I just play it for hours on my Ipod. The triplet beautifully carves out the divinity of the "OMNIPRESENT" lord & add to it, Amitabh Bachchan's baritone that re-kindles the spirit of the mind.

Whenever, I listen to these lines, I feel so connected to the divine entity.It magically relieves my stress & bolsters my belief on Him.

"Ibaadat" (PRAYER) has an unusual ability to take the "SELF" to a higher level. However, here I would emphasize "Ibaadat should be restrained in the territories of your mind,it should not be done to impress others". We just pray for ourselves but the real bliss lies in praying for the well being of others.

Its not imperative that for "Ibaadat", one has to visit a Temple\Mosque\Church or a Gurudwara....Ibaadat can be done anywhere , even if you are stuck in a traffic-jam,you can very well summon God!

Further,I would add:-"Do good to others only if your heart asks you to do so" & try to be selfless while you are doing that.I am not asking you to donate humongous amounts of money to a charity. A small but a genuine endeavor to spread love would also do.....It can be anything! Trust me.....:)

MoThEr'S DaY Special!

A YEAR BEFORE

1. Her "constant vigil" irritates the hell out of me.

2.At times, I even feel that she hovers about my head & makes a constant endeavor to intrude into my privacy.

3.She surreptitiously enters my room when I am away & inspects every corner of it.

She unfailingly, confiscates my mobile phone if she finds me talking to someone suspicious.

4.She halves down my allowances to a meager 5oo bucks when she sees me spending exorbitantly.

5. She doesn't let me do my choice.She raises an eyebrow when she sees me wearing a "skin tight Tee".

6. She frowns every time when she sees my "jean" sliding down to my pelvic girdle.

7. She never lets me attend the "late night parties", raises a myriad questions if she finds me chatting with an "unknown" on the Internet.

8.I can affirmatively say that my mom is the "WORLD'S WORST COOK"

9.I hate muchly when my mom tries to act a "career counselor" to me.

10.I HATE HER THE MOST BECAUSE SHE IS MY BIGGEST ENEMY.

Now, is there any reason left that would make me joyously celebrate the much hyped "MOTHER'S DAY"?

A YEAR AFTER

Scene:-a whopping 500 miles away from home, i am seated.Struggling hard to earn my bread....

1.Now, that I am ill, the thing that I yearn for the most is my mom's tender care, her affectionate "kiss" on my forehead & that "bear hug " of hers & yes that SPICE-LESS YET PRICELESS CONVALESCENT FOOD.....

2.I so badly regret taking up a career that is so "misfit" for me....How I wish lending an ear to my mom's advices a year ago!

3. The "SKIN-TIGHT TEE & THE SLIDING JEANS" have made me face a very many "awkward situations"....

4.Now,I've learnt the minute difference between being "Generous" & being "Spendthrift" . I value money.

5. A drunk guy even tried to molest me in one of the so-called "late-night parties" .

6.On the eve of this Mom's day, I just want to say a "heart-felt" sorry to my mother. I shouted at her for the "peskiest" & the "pettiest" things.....I made her cry for innumerable times....& here I culminate with these few lines:-

The world is unhappy, a place

but Ma, it's in you circle of embrace,

where I can find solace!

Happy Mother's Day Mumma!:)

P.S:-The "I" is not me!:D

Bela......

An excruciating day, that it was! I couldn't take it anymore & decided to while away in my University Campus.That was one of the days when I wanted to be with myself....with no one encroaching upon my solitude....completely lonesome,far away from the maddening crowd.

I wondered here & there completely occupied with my own thoughts when suddenly a girl not more than seven spotted me & ran towards me for alms...."Didi,kuch paise de do!".

I paused & perturbed by her repetitive requests , I raucously asked her to go away. The girl silently went away with a crestfallen face & I walked on & on until I reached my home.....

Throughout that night,the seven year old girl came into my mind.I wondered "I shouldn't have been rude to her ,I should have given her something".

The next day when I went to the University,I spotted the girl again.Reluctant she was,to come to me & ask for alms since the previous day i had shooed her away.I called her, hesitantly she came & I gave her a five rupee coin. She gave me a dazzling smile & went away.

After finishing my college chores,I decided to take a round of the University campus because it relieved me from my inner angst,sedated the turmoil that I was going through.I went to a park nearby & sat on an old wrought iron bench. I could feel the loneliness that was tormenting me when again I saw the 7 year old girl running behind a cute little puppy that was frisking around.Seeing me,she at once came to me & again bedazzled me with her warm smile & before she could utter a word, I politely interrupted..."Bacche,abhi mere paas kuch bhi nahi hain!" Her smile turned into a broad grin & she sat on the bench by my side.

I asked her, her name & she vehemently replied "Bela...." .That was for the first time ,I could have a complete glimpse of hers,from head to toe.She was a thin undernourished kid,all draped in an off-white tarnished frock.Her hair braided in two plots,tied neatly with a cute red ribbon & her toe nails painted pink. She was all engrossed with the stray pup & she smiled all along......

The girl had"something" in her that was too poignant to stay unnoticed.

I asked her about her family & she said that she had 5 sisters & a baby brother.She further added (& in her voice, a subtle numbness was palpable) that her father goes to a toddy shop nearby & in a drunken state beats his wife.She told that her mother washes utensils in the neighboring houses & often coughs blood.....

I was moved by her dire state & even more addled to see the way she always smiles ,even after being wrecked by the destiny.May be Bela was too small to understand the intricacies of life or may be she was way too mature !

She then added that neither she nor her sisters have ever been to a school.When I asked her if she wanted to study,pat came her reply "Haan, didi, main parhna chahti hoon!"

Saying these, she ran after the pup & I was deeply awestruck.

The following days,i continued to go to the park & always expected Bela's presence.Seeing me,Bela would gleefully come to me without any expectation of alms . I would merrily pull her cheeks & give her a candy. Once she said "Didi, aap bahot acche ho!" & hearing this I gave her an unsettling peck on her cheeks.

I told Bela that I would teach her & hearing this ,her happiness knew no bounds.Contented my soul was,since I made an endeavor to bring a small but a significant change in Bela's life but destiny had something else en- stored for me.....

"Your grandpa has passed away" said the shaky voice. I hung up the phone & I succumbed to a state of overwhelming distress. On the very next day,I had to catch up the train to my Grandpa's house.

In this situation of utter confusion & distress,I had completely forgotten about Bela but when I was going to the railway station,i asked the autowaalaah to take me to the same old park. Fortunately, I saw Bela, called her & said "Listen, Bela! I have to go out of station.My Grandpa is no more.I will come back after some days & then shall start your lessons"

Hearing this, a teary-eyed Bela said "Didi!Aap jaldi aana" & I hugged her......

I spent almost a month at my grandpa's place.I was so attached to him that I could never (not even in my wildest imaginations) imagine that he would part-away from me.I regretted not being with him during the last days of his life.

After a month,when I came back to my city,I tried to get back to normalcy.I said to myself " Life is a series of strange qualities.It has nothing constant except for the fact that it just moves on."

Bela came across my mind & so did my promise that I had made to her......the promise that I would educate her......I bought new note-books & pencils for Bela & went to the park.

I ransacked every nook & corner but couldn't find Bela anywhere.I wondered if she had left the place.I asked the kiosk owners & the street vendors about Bela but in vain.I asked the street kids about Bela's whereabouts & they pointed at a thatched,dilapidated hut,validating it as "Bela ka ghar".

I went inside & there I spotted a malnourished girl may be a little older than Bela & asked her "Bela,yahi rehti hain?" She nodded & called her "Amma". Her stick-thin mother came from inside & in her hoarse voice asked me "Kya Hain?"

I joined my hands & said "Namaste! Bela kaha hain?" & no sooner did she hear this than she thumped on the floor & started bowling "Bela, marr gayi!" ["Bela is no more"] .

I could not believe my ears & was taken aback. I couldn't imagine a young frolicking girl lying in eternal sleep! She went on saying that 15 days earlier ,Bela's father had brutally beaten her for a minor fault & he kept her outside the hut for the whole night.That night,it had been raining cats & dogs & all through the night,Bela cried incessantly & completely drenched,she caught cold & shivered to death.

Calming down after a while, she asked a shocked me "Aap kaun ho?" Anguished with not even a single word coming out of my mouth , I blurted....."Err....m....main Bela kk.....ki didi"....

The girl who was standing by her amma's side ,on hearing this went inside & brought a slate on which it was boldly written "DIDI" (in Hindi) ....She handed over the slate to me & said "Bela had learnt to write this & she was so excited to show it to you"

I flustered & gazed at the slate for a moment.Tears rolled down my cheeks like an unbroken stream......I took the slate & walked back into the pensive lanes of my life!